guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
