He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
