addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
