I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
