I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
