I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
