your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Sober January is a disaster.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
