you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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