I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
