so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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