I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
My ass is underappreciated
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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