Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I need water and some morals
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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