UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
