I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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