This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
