the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
