is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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