I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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