I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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