you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
