How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Randomize
