Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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