i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
