problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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