First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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