Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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