Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
