I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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