I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
