i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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