he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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