My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
