just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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