Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
