my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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