Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
