It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Your cock deserves a montage
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
