no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
