remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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