All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
