Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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