Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
