I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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