So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
God, I missed his penis.
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