Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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