Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
