I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
