what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
