Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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