Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
