And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
