Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
