I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
