the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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