You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
