I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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