I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
