yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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